Yes, we know. We promised that Upgrading Thoughts would be a rare treat, like finding a $50 bill in an old jacket. Yet here we are, dropping another edition.

You’re welcome. More quality content, for free—because we’re generous like that.

Now, buckle up, because this one might just save you from another mental spiral of “Why isn’t life exactly the way I want it to be?”

Why Do We Keep Expecting Life to Play Nice?

How many times have you found yourself imagining the worst-case scenario, just because something you wanted seemed like it might go wrong? That anticipation of something that hasn’t even happened yet but is already draining your mental energy—doesn’t it drive you crazy?

Let’s face it: expectations are like that one friend who promises to show up on time but always keeps you waiting. They sound great in theory, but they almost never match reality.

We all do it. You plan to tackle your to-do list, but end up five hours deep into Netflix. You expect people to act rationally, but they remind you that, well… people are unpredictable.

The truth is, our expectations are often the root of our frustration. We love imagining the perfect outcome, but when reality doesn’t follow the script we’ve written, it leaves us mentally exhausted. We get caught up in things beyond our control, only to feel disappointed or anxious.

The Root of Disappointment

Let’s break it down: the frustration of unmet expectations isn’t about the event itself. It’s about your brain throwing a tantrum because reality didn’t show up the way you imagined. You’ve probably spent more time agonizing over how things should have gone than actually facing the situation in front of you. And here’s the kicker: none of that mental drama changes the outcome. It just adds a whole lot of unnecessary stress to the mix.

The Stoics had this figured out long before we started overthinking texts with "…" at the end. Epictetus, the king of keeping it real, nailed it:

Translation: It’s not the thing itself that messes with your head, it’s how you’re choosing to see it. Think about it. You’re out here crafting mental soap operas starring worst-case scenarios, while life is just vibing, going, “This isn’t that deep, bro.”

You know that feeling when you think you’ve messed something up so badly, and then someone else casually says, "It’s not that big of a deal"? That’s the perspective you need. Epictetus and the Stoics knew that suffering comes from getting attached to how things should be, instead of accepting them as they are.

So, next time you’re stuck in an overthinking loop, remember: life isn’t a drama series. It’s a series of events that are often much simpler than we make them out to be. The key to peace? Ditch the unnecessary storylines and take things for what they really are. It’s not the events that disturb you; it’s the way you spin them.

Adjust Your Expectations, Change Your Life

Viktor Frankl, the psychotherapist and Holocaust survivor, dropped this powerful truth:

In other words: if you can’t control what’s happening, change how you react. This applies when your coffee order is wrong or when plans fall apart.

Here’s the Cheat Code:

• Things you can't change? Accept them and move forward with a plan.

• People who don’t get it? Adjust your approach, not your patience.

• Plans that fall apart? Pivot fast, adapt, and keep pushing.

The Mindset in Action

Ready to stop being emotionally wrecked by every curveball? Here’s how:

1️⃣Call It Out:

Are you upset because of the situation, or because it didn’t match the imaginary script in your head? Spoiler alert: It’s usually the latter. You’ve created this perfect picture in your mind of how things should go, and when reality doesn’t follow that script, your brain freaks out. The moment you realize this, you’ll stop letting small bumps in the road feel like life-or-death situations. The situation may be tough, but it’s your reaction that makes it worse.

2️⃣Control the Controllables:

You can’t control other people, traffic, or the weather. You can control your attitude, your effort, and whether you eat that last cookie. The trick is to focus on what’s actually within your reach. People will disappoint you, traffic will make you late, and the weather will ruin your hair—so why waste energy getting upset about it? Instead, ask yourself, "What can I do right now to make this situation better?" Even if it's just a small thing, like taking a deep breath or finding a different route.

3️⃣Ditch the Fantasy:

Stop expecting life to act like a well-written movie. It’s more like improv—messy, unpredictable, but still entertaining (most of the time). We all dream of a perfect life where everything falls into place effortlessly. But life’s chaos is what keeps things interesting. The sooner you let go of your fantasy script, the more you can enjoy the unscripted moments that surprise you. Embrace the unknown, because the best stories are the ones that don’t follow a formula.

The Upgrade

When you stop clinging to unrealistic expectations, you unlock some serious perks:

• Peace of Mind:
  No more endless “What if?” loops in your brain. Imagine the relief of finally letting go of those "what could have been" thoughts. Your mind can relax when it stops trying to control every detail. Peace isn’t about avoiding discomfort—it’s about accepting it and choosing how to react.

• Focus:
  Your energy goes into things that matter, not imaginary scenarios where everyone claps for you like it’s the end of a rom-com. You’ll be amazed at how much mental bandwidth you save when you stop rehearsing the worst-case scenarios. Focus on your goals, your growth, and the present moment, instead of wasting energy on a mental rerun of what should have happened.

• Resilience:
  You bounce back faster than a rubber band. The more you adjust your expectations, the less the setbacks feel like failures. Every mistake becomes a lesson, and every challenge becomes an opportunity to prove your adaptability. Life doesn’t knock you down, it gives you a chance to get stronger.

Life’s not perfect, but that’s part of the fun. And honestly, who needs perfect when you can have progress? The magic isn’t in things going exactly as planned. It’s in how you respond when they don’t. So, throw away the fantasy, adjust your expectations, and start living life like the real adventure it is.