Welcome to The Upgrade – your weekly reflection on growth, self-discovery, and transformation. This week, we’re peeling back the layers of strength and diving deep into a topic often misunderstood: vulnerability. What if the very thing we try to avoid is our greatest source of power? Buckle up—this one might just change the way you see yourself.

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Philosophical Insights

Brené Brown, a researcher and storyteller known for her work on vulnerability, offers a perspective that flips the concept of strength on its head:

Brown’s work reveals that vulnerability isn’t about oversharing or wearing your heart on your sleeve. It’s about being open to uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure—the foundation of connection, innovation, and resilience.

Yet, many of us resist vulnerability because it feels like losing control. We hide our flaws, avoid tough conversations, and pretend we’re unshakeable. Why? Because we think strength is about perfection and invincibility. But history and experience tell a different story.

The Illusion of Invulnerability

Think of the stereotypical leader: the stoic, decisive, unflappable one. Many of us grew up believing that showing vulnerability is the quickest way to lose respect. However, some of the greatest leaders and thinkers throughout history have demonstrated the opposite.

Abraham Lincoln often shared his doubts and insecurities with his closest advisors. During one of the most tumultuous periods in American history, he didn't pretend to have all the answers. By being vulnerable, he built trust and inspired loyalty.

Steve Jobs openly acknowledged his mistakes and setbacks. His willingness to admit failure led to Apple’s rebirth after his return in 1997. Vulnerability made him a better leader and innovator.

Even Socrates, one of the fathers of Western philosophy, famously said:

By admitting ignorance, Socrates embraced vulnerability as a pathway to knowledge.

The Business of Vulnerability

Today, vulnerability is becoming more accepted in the world of business and leadership. Influencers like Simon Sinek advocate for empathetic leadership rooted in vulnerability. In his book Leaders Eat Last, Sinek argues that leaders who are open about their challenges foster trust and psychological safety within teams.

Academics and thought leaders also highlight vulnerability as essential for creativity. Dr. Carol Dweck, known for her research on the growth mindset, emphasizes that admitting mistakes and embracing feedback are critical for learning and improvement.

The Courage to Be Seen

So, how can we start embracing vulnerability in our own lives? Here are a few examples:

1. Conversations that Matter: Initiate an honest conversation with a friend or partner. Share something you’ve been holding back. Notice how the relationship deepens.

2. Creative Risks: Put your art, writing, or ideas out into the world. Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation.

3. Professional Honesty: Admit to a colleague when you’re struggling or need help. You might be surprised by the support you receive.

4. Social Media Realness: Instead of curating a highlight reel, share a genuine experience—the ups and the downs.

The Fear That Holds Us Back

If vulnerability is so powerful, why is it so terrifying?

Because we equate it with exposure, and exposure, for many of us, feels like the first step toward rejection or failure.

Nietzsche once said:

While often misinterpreted, Nietzsche’s words point to the resilience that comes from facing challenges head-on. Every time we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we grow stronger, even if the outcome isn’t what we hoped for.

Michael Scott

Michael Scott, the eccentric manager in 'The Office,' is a classic example of how vulnerability can be a powerful leadership tool. Although he often makes mistakes and is the butt of jokes for his impulsive decisions, his ability to show his weaknesses and put himself in uncomfortable situations endears him to his team. Michael is not a traditional leader; he does not hide his flaws or insecurities. Instead, he exposes them in a raw way, which ends up creating a genuine connection with his employees.

He has often put himself in front of his team to protect them, demonstrating that, although imperfect, he cares deeply about their well-being. One example of this occurs in the episode where he takes the blame for a branch office going bankrupt in order to prevent his colleagues from being fired, putting his position at risk to save others. In another episode, he sacrifices his own emotional comfort to support one of his subordinates during a difficult time, proving that he is a leader who, even without realizing it, inspires loyalty.

This vulnerability, combined with his impulsive and sometimes clumsy actions, makes his team feel safe and supported, which paradoxically strengthens his position as a leader. By showing that he is not perfect but that he is willing to fight for the team, Michael Scott becomes a remarkable example of how leadership based on vulnerability can be effective and admired.

When Protection Becomes Armor

Although embracing vulnerability is a strength, protecting ourselves too much from it can have the opposite effect. Often, the fear of showing our weaknesses turns us into arrogant, defensive, or even insufferable individuals.

When we try to mask our insecurities, we might end up:

1. Seeming Superior: Constantly correcting others or speaking in a condescending tone. An example would be Steve Ballmer, former Microsoft CEO, who was known early in his career for arrogance that distanced colleagues before he learned to show empathy and humility.

2. Building Emotional Walls: Closing ourselves off to others, which can damage relationships. Think of Howard Roark, the character from Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead, who exemplifies extreme self-sufficiency at the cost of human connection.

3. Using Sarcasm or Cynicism as Defense: Reacting to every comment or critique with cynicism to deflect attention from internal struggles creates barriers to meaningful conversation.

Signs That You’re Avoiding Vulnerability

1. Perfectionism: You strive to be flawless to avoid criticism.

2. Emotional Walls: You keep others at a distance to avoid being hurt.

3. Overworking: You bury yourself in tasks to avoid confronting deeper fears.

4. Control-Seeking: You micromanage situations to feel safe.

5. Avoidance: You dodge tough conversations or feedback.

The Path Forward: Vulnerability as Strength

True freedom lies in the ability to show up, imperfections and all. When we embrace vulnerability, we stop living for approval and start living authentically.

So, what does embracing vulnerability look like in practice?

• Admit your mistakes. Own up to your failures, and use them as opportunities for growth.

• Ask for help. There’s strength in acknowledging that you can’t do it all alone.

• Share your dreams. Allow others to see your hopes and ambitions, even if there’s a risk of judgment.

Conclusion: The Strength in Being Seen

If you want to live a life of true connection and authenticity, vulnerability is non-negotiable. It’s not a sign of weakness but a testament to your courage.

Final question: What’s one area of your life where you can embrace vulnerability this week?

The Upgrade Recap

• Do: Have a real conversation. Share a vulnerable truth with someone you trust and observe how it deepens your connection.

• Play: The Empathy Game. Role-play scenarios where you practice vulnerability with a friend or partner—it’s harder (and more rewarding) than it sounds.

• Follow: @BreneBrown – Dive deeper into vulnerability, courage, and connection with insights from one of the world’s leading voices on the topic.

• Read: Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. This book is a deep dive into the power of vulnerability and how embracing it can transform your life and relationships.

Oh, and if you enjoyed this, why not share it on your socials? Let’s spread the upgrade—because we’re pretty sure others would love it too.

Until next time, stay sharp and keep upgrading.

Cheers,
Eduardo Krett
Editor-in-Chief, The Upgrade